This week my mom got pissed at me for giving away an empty bookshelf and some plastic drawers to my cousins. She said my room (at her house) now looks empty, cold and hotel-like. And what was once a beautiful room is now so ugly that she has to close the door cause she can’t stand the sight of it. Oh, and that she would never forgive me for this.
I thought her reaction was kind of silly, ridiculous even, because the bookshelf was completely empty and 2 of the 3 plastic drawers were also empty. Plus, I moved another bookshelf over to where the donated bookshelf used to be so the corner wasn’t even vacant.
At first her reaction didn’t affect me all that much. She always complains when I donate or throw something away. When her reaction got stronger, it started to annoy me a little bit. I mean, how could she not see how it made a whole lot more sense to give these items to my cousins (who actually need them and will use them) rather than let these items sit neglected, collecting dust in my room? Then, when she started getting really mad and saying all the things I mentioned above, I got mad back at her. I mean, really? She REALLY thinks that plastic drawers and empty bookshelves are what make a room beautiful? What make a house a home? REALLY?! How unreasonable could she be?!
After a few days, I realized reason and logic weren’t going to get me anywhere on this one. The issue really isn’t about the empty bookshelf and plastic drawers being given away. The real issue is I got married a few months ago and she still needs time to adjust to the fact that we won’t ever be able to spend time together like we used to. And even though she knows I have my own apartment and that I’ll eventually have my own home to fit all my stuff in one day, she wants my room at her home to always feel like my room. One that’s personalized and filled with memories. Since my room at her home was already pretty sparse, removing furniture made it feel even emptier.
So, I think we found a compromise: my cousins can still keep the bookshelf and plastic drawers but I will start filling my room with more pictures and clothes.